Friday, December 18, 2015

Dilwale - Movie Review

Ratings: 2/5
Dilwale is not just another masala recipe of a 300Cr film by Rohit Shetty but it is a full fledged combo deal. Along with 154 min of non stop torture, you also get bucket full of cliches, barrage of coincidences, frequent leaps of faith (making mockery of physics laws) and Salmonella infested rotten Johnny lever.

Plot of this film was conceptualized in 1990. But before Rohit Shetty could construct a building (film) on this plot, municipality had put a stay order on it in public interest. At least 10-20 films got made on this plot including Angry young man's Hum and Thalaivar's Baasha. But, it didn't dissuade dauntless Rohit Shetty. He was super confident of dishing out this piece of crap and yet make 300Cr-500Cr with blessings of King Khan.

Story of the film travels faster than the light and defies Einstein's theory of relativity. At 8:00 pm hero and heroine meets, At 8:05 they go on a date, At 8:10 they are madly in love with each other. Glad we have censor board in India, else God knows what all they would have done in 150 minutes :D

SRK plays a larger than life character (as usual), who works double shift to remain competitive. In morning shift, he gives competition to DC (Dilip Chabbria) by metamorphosing Maruti 800 into BMW by tightening some screws. In night shift, he dresses up like Darth Vader (from Star Wars) and takes badla from all those who have hurt his alter ego. Andheri raaton mein.. soonsaan galiyo par!!! That so much Shehanshah (King Khan after all). Having said that, his acting is quite restrained and you won't see his usual melodramatic emotional outburst.

Kajol is in a love-hate relationship with SRK. Which side of the bed she has woken up from decides today is the love day or hate day. This love-hate relation keeps flipping for SRK and Kajol without any explainable logic. You can almost hear Rohit Shetty screaming on mike: Love - Hate - Hate - Love - Love - Hate - Love - Hate! Poor actors, what all they have to go through. For Varun Dhawan, Dilwale was one of his worst picks. Neither, he gets to show any killer dance moves nor there was any challenging role for him.

Rohit Shetty casted Kriti Sanon while he was shopping for veggies in Sabji Mandi.
Rohit: "Madam, lead actress chahiye. Kya Baav Diya ?"
Kriti: " Rs 60 lakhs"
Rohit:"60 lakhs mein 3 feet ki 2 legs. 10 lakhs/feet for each leg is not a bad deal. Done!"

Johnny the dirty lever learnt his Hindi from Meenalochani of Chennai Express. Coz, I haven't seen anyone speaking Hindi in that accent in Kerala or for that matter anywhere in South India. His jokes are older than AK Hangal and staler than last year's Diwali sweets. Boman Irani, Sanjay Mishra, Pankaj Tripathi, Vinod Khanna are all unbearable. Mind you, it needs a mastermind to waste such a breed of talented actors.

Music by Preetam is average and songs aren't impressive except Gerua. Gerua is one phenomenal song which is not only picturized aesthetically, but is melodious and catchy and vocals of Arijit Singh is outstanding. Action sequences look more like morning stretching exercises,effortless and doesn't cause even a crease of hero's clothes. For some reason, in every Bollywood movie after every fight, Varun Dhawan bleeds from right corner of his lips and King Khan always has blood on his right temple. May be something to do with sweet spot!

One example of leap of faith: There are 2 rival gangs in the film. Both gangs have super strong intelligence team who know every deal of rival gang - which deal, when,where.. everything! Except they don't know family members of rival gangs supremo. What!!! Ravan mar gaya aur Sita kaun thi??

Statuary Warning: This film is made only for those with IQ less than 80. Please get your IQ level checked with MENSA before watching this film. Any frustration arising out of mockery made to your intelligence is not director's responsibility. Nor it is liable to any legal action with punitive damages.

Verdict: Instead of buying tickets of this film, invest that money in your savings back account. Even at 4% interest rate, you'll get higher return!